new kicks and a little sharing

Our little guy has graduated from Robeez to some rubber soled shoes. Yesterday was our first day wearing them and although he took 1 shoe off a few times in Daycare he seemed to like the new “grown up” feel.
The soles of these sneakers from Stride Rite are nice and flexible which makes a good transition from the soft texture of his Robeez.

On a different note–I just read Laura’s post on her son’s attachment process and it really got me thinking about our own.

Morgan wasn’t mistreated in any way at the orphanage–as far as we could tell. But, he will always be a strong willed little guy and it wasn’t easy to start with a ten month old baby. He did get very angry when his life changed over night and we did have to deal with some grief and some attachment issues.

It took almost two months for him to allow us to leave his sight. We would to bring him into the bathroom with us, we would hold him non-stop and sometimes he would just get so pissed for no reason that we knew of other than the changes life had handed to him.

I remember when he started coming to me for hugs–after we were back home in the states and I remember our family and our ECI workers remarking on it. I could stop the world to hug him and tell him I loved him so that he felt comfortable sitting 1-2 feet away from me and playing with a toy….but more often than not, he wanted to be right in our laps.

It was attachment–he knew that if he needed something we were the people who could get it–but it was so fretful and insecure. He worried about our proximity at all times. He hated sleeping in his own room…he hated sleeping anywhere that we were not right beside him. Most of the time we held him or stayed next to him and if we even scooted away out of physical contact he was so hypervigilent that he awoke immediately.

We told our baby–You are ours. We will never leave you. and repeated it over and over. I reassured him that if his bottle was empty and he wanted more that it would always be there. I did the same with snacks that he wanted to stuff into his cheeks while holding onto the bag with all of his might as if someone would take it from him. Again, it took months to reassure him that there would always be ENOUGH.

These days, he claps when he goes to daycare–and he is able to share his sweet and loving personality with others. It even makes me a little sad that he is affectionate with the ladies who care for him each day…but he always drops everything and runs to me as soon as he sees me. Now I have to reassure myself that it’s great that he’s so much more secure. He can walk out of my sight on his own and know that I will be right there when he comes back….but he also still prefers to sit in my lap and share his toys and his sweet little spirit.

It takes time–but it comes.

Advertisements

3 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

3 responses to “new kicks and a little sharing

  1. Jess and Paul

    Great post. I love hearing about other families attachment process.

  2. Laura

    I just saw those shoes – they are soo cute! Thanks so much for sharing. I really enjoyed reading your post. The anger isn’t easy to deal with, but the progress is amazing, huh? I’m so glad Morgan is doing so well at daycare. BTW, your last email to me apparently went to my Spam folder and I found it tonight. Expect one from me tomorrow. For now, just know that I admire you. You’re an awesome mom. xoxo

  3. abc123vn

    Ok so I needed these posts….can i just say that I am so glad you wrote this. Thank you so much for sharing!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s