Our little guy has graduated from Robeez to some rubber soled shoes. Yesterday was our first day wearing them and although he took 1 shoe off a few times in Daycare he seemed to like the new “grown up” feel.
The soles of these sneakers from Stride Rite are nice and flexible which makes a good transition from the soft texture of his Robeez.
On a different note–I just read Laura’s post on her son’s attachment process and it really got me thinking about our own.
Morgan wasn’t mistreated in any way at the orphanage–as far as we could tell. But, he will always be a strong willed little guy and it wasn’t easy to start with a ten month old baby. He did get very angry when his life changed over night and we did have to deal with some grief and some attachment issues.
It took almost two months for him to allow us to leave his sight. We would to bring him into the bathroom with us, we would hold him non-stop and sometimes he would just get so pissed for no reason that we knew of other than the changes life had handed to him.
I remember when he started coming to me for hugs–after we were back home in the states and I remember our family and our ECI workers remarking on it. I could stop the world to hug him and tell him I loved him so that he felt comfortable sitting 1-2 feet away from me and playing with a toy….but more often than not, he wanted to be right in our laps.
It was attachment–he knew that if he needed something we were the people who could get it–but it was so fretful and insecure. He worried about our proximity at all times. He hated sleeping in his own room…he hated sleeping anywhere that we were not right beside him. Most of the time we held him or stayed next to him and if we even scooted away out of physical contact he was so hypervigilent that he awoke immediately.
We told our baby–You are ours. We will never leave you. and repeated it over and over. I reassured him that if his bottle was empty and he wanted more that it would always be there. I did the same with snacks that he wanted to stuff into his cheeks while holding onto the bag with all of his might as if someone would take it from him. Again, it took months to reassure him that there would always be ENOUGH.
These days, he claps when he goes to daycare–and he is able to share his sweet and loving personality with others. It even makes me a little sad that he is affectionate with the ladies who care for him each day…but he always drops everything and runs to me as soon as he sees me. Now I have to reassure myself that it’s great that he’s so much more secure. He can walk out of my sight on his own and know that I will be right there when he comes back….but he also still prefers to sit in my lap and share his toys and his sweet little spirit.
It takes time–but it comes.