Bittersweet

My friend LeAnne is leaving tomorrow. Her husband has completed his army committment and they are moving home to Phoenix. I am so very happy and excited for her….but at the same time so sad to lose one of my dearest “in town” friends. Military life is like that…every year or so you say goodbye to those you come to love like family. LeAnne was there for me through the adoption and through Jeremy’s deployment and it will be so hard to know that she isn’t just a few blocks away anymore.

They also have a new baby. He is beautiful–tiny and sweet and it makes me sad that Jeremy and I still have not gotten to experience having a newborn in our lives. Every time I hold this little one, I get a huge lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. It amazes me how I can feel such joy for my friend and such sorrow in my own heart at the same time!

We’ve been trying to get pregnant for 6 months, now. I am determined not to turn this into a fertility blog–but I am becoming anxious as another month rolls by without a positive result. What a stressful process!

Morgan is growing more and more each day–leaving babyhood behind and becoming such the little man. I love it that he still gets into bed with us each morning for a few hours and thrill to the smell of his sweet baby hair on the pillow next to me and his smiles when we wake. I cannot believe that I was perfectly content for 31 years without being a mom. Everything feels different now and I would love another baby. I would love for him to have a little brother or sister to grow with and to love.
boo.

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4 Comments

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4 responses to “Bittersweet

  1. Anonymous

    You are such a sweet girl. I am sorry you are having to say goodbye to another friend. I hope and pray you will get pregnant soon, so you can have your own newborn to love and care for. You are a wonderful, great Mother to Morgan and I know he will love a baby brother or sister. He is getting to be such a big boy.

    I love you, Mom

  2. Laura

    I'm so sorry a good friend is moving away. That is so difficult. I'm selfishly sorta glad I'll get to see you at some point!

    I didn't realize you've been trying to get pregnant for six months. It seems like you just posted it about it. I'm not a patient person, esp. when it comes to something I really want, so I can imagine that it isn't easy to wait for something so big. I'll keep you in my thoughts and send lots of positive "get KU'd, Jen" thoughts your way. 🙂 If you want to blog about it, I'll certainly read it and do my best not to say something stupid!

    I couldn't agree more with your statement about wondering how you were content for all that time. I wonder the same thing all the time.

  3. James and Melissa

    I'll bet it is so hard to say goodbye to friends so often. I'm thinking of you guys and know that things will work out.

  4. Anonymous

    Sometimes we travel the more difficult path, then are blessed with things more beautiful then we could have imagined. Try to be patient, it will come. And I know that's easier said than done, but I am talking from experience – took 13 months to get pregnant with my first.

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