I get reality checks all of the time. People with more kids, more problems…more ANYTHING that reminds me that when I feel like I am struggling to keep it all together there is always someone else conquering a much bigger challenge.
Last week, I was terrified to take my newborn out of the house and drop my son off at school while toting a carseat…such a silly thing to worry about when women do this every single day! I stress over little things like how to shop for groceries while toting the same newborn or what I will do if the baby CRIES in public.
I remember having these fears with Morgan, but it was sink or swim those first weeks while we were living in the hotel in Vietnam. We had no choice but to get out there and do stuff, even if it meant taking the baby without a carseat on a taxi ride to get there! Trial by fire always seems to be the way things work…it was either that or live on room service and miss seeing the incredible city of Hanoi.
Little by little mothering becomes easier. I’ve conquered my fear of public breastfeeding (my coordination has improved and I am no longer flashing hapless bystanders!) and I am learning to juggle a toddler and a baby a bit better each day.
Morgan has been a dream–even though he’s regressed a bit on potty training and had some epic near 3 year old tantrums. He loves his little sister and gives her kisses, replaces her binky when it’s lost, and generally tries to help in any way that he can. A few nights ago he placed his treasured “airplane blankie” over Leighton’s little bare legs and told me that baby was “cold”. I almost held my breath, knowing how attached he is to that blanket and I could see the little wheels turning in his head after he did it…part duty to his little sister’s chilly legs and part worry about his security blanket. He finally resolved the issue by picking up a lesser loved blanket and telling me that “Leighton likes this one” and gently replaced it. I hugged him and told him that his airplane blanket was special and that Leighton definitely liked the other choice better 🙂
I am still woefully sleep deprived. Leighton was up every hour-2 hours last night. This bit of magic seems to occur every few days and it really throws us for a loop. I try to get up quickly and let Jeremy sleep because our routine on the weekends is that he gets up with Morgan around 7am and I get a few extra hours of sleep then.
Leighton is rarely a “sure thing” on schedules…but she does seem to consistently be asleep from 7-9:30 am. During the week it allows me to get Morgan to school and run a quick errand and on the weekend it allows me to catch some zzzz’s.
Next week I have my 6 week follow-up with the ob after delivery. I am hoping to be cleared for exercise and able to return to the pool. I feel like a wad of chewed bubble gum. All but 3 lbs of the baby weight is gone, but I had an extra 10 coming in to the pregnancy that I was determined to lose. It will take a while for my stomach to return to normal size…but overall I am not unhappy. Nursing burns a ton of calories and I have been eating lots of cookies now that gestational diabetes is not an issue!
I have one week left of the lovenox injections and then will likely be on baby aspirin and folate for the rest of my life. There is so little conclusive research on the MTHFR gene mutation–but I have seen two relatives hospitalized for blood clots this past year and I don’t want to take chances. I need to be proactive and be healthy for my family!