Oh my Lord

Two kids…one mom…and a dentist appt at 9am.

I had scheduled Morgan’s check up on a day when I could drop Leighton at the day care center at 8:30 and did not anticipate that anything would go wrong. Silly Me!!

First mistake: sleeping until 7:45. Awake to hear Morgan’s favorite early morning salutation “Mom, I pooped.”

Get out of bed and walk him into the bathroom because I am literally at my wits end with my 3 year old’s refusal to use the potty at home. EVEN THOUGH HE IS POTTY TRAINED AT SCHOOL!!!

I ask Morgan politely to take off his pull up and put the poop into the potty. I have been reading that sometimes resistant kiddos get sick of cleaning up their own shit (oh yes, so punny!) and that they will stop refusing to potty train if you just make them responsible for their own messes. Mmmm hmmm….after watching a poop roll across the bathroom floor before I scooped it up with toilet tissue and handed it back to him we were off to a rollicking start.

“That’s gross, Mama” he told me with a wrinkled nose.


We cleaned the floor, threw the rug into the wash, scrubbed our hands and headed into the living room for breakfast.  Time saved? Zilch.

I managed to pump a bottle for Leighton while Morgan ate breakfast and then asked him to get dressed for his dental appt. He declined. I snapped off the television, scooped up the baby and went to dress myself and her. At this point I think it was 8:15 am. We were going to be late dropping the baby off but we still could make it.

8:30–Leighton and I were both dressed and Morgan was looking for his shoes.

8:45 the car is loaded and I am debating on whether or not I can still make daycare when I pick up the infant carrier and start down the hall with Morgan and his blanket in tow. Morgan trips and goes down on the tile floor. #$$#%$^$^$^#$%^$#!!!!! He’s crying. I’m holding a baby carrier, a purse, a diaper bag, and I forgot my cell phone. Morgan is telling me that he can’t walk and I feel like scooping him up wounded warrior style and dragging us all out to the car. There may or may not have been more four letter words uttered as steam blew out of both of my ears.

I get them into the car and realize that the bottle AND my phone are still in the house. At this point I indulge myself with a 10 second burst of tears on the steering wheel. Then, it’s time to pull myself together and rush into the house for the bottle and phone. I debate on calling the dentist office to tell them we will be late so that I can still drop Leighton off, but a look at the clock resigns me to my fate.

Fortunately, things go very well at the dentist office–behavior wise. Leighton is happy in her carrier and coos and smiles. Morgan cooperates through x-rays and a cleaning / fluoride application. The dentist tells me that Morgan has 2 cavities that are very small and just at the surface of his teeth. I mentally go over all of the bags of fruit snacks and M&M’s given as potty rewards over the past year and nod my head. We agree to schedule the fillings for a time when Jeremy is home to help out and we head to the car with a small cup of ice cream and a balloon…not to mention the three year old, the purse, the diaper bag, and the stroller.

Morgan has a “thing” about balloons in the car. More like a freaking phobia where he goes absolutely bat shit if there is a loose balloon in the car!  He asks me to put the balloon into the cargo area of the SUV. Anyone ever tried this? In the absence of a trunk, I have this little rolling shade to house the balloon. I also have to put a stroller and a diaper bag in while juggling a cup of soft serve ice cream and a balloon and keeping my eye on Morgan who is still freaking obsessing about the balloon getting loose in the car.

I have the brilliant idea that I can wind the balloon string around one of the cargo hooks and then roll the little shutter down on the “trunk”. I then realize  that I still have to grab the stroller. As I turn to break it down, Morgan starts whining “My Baloon!” and before I can grab it the darn thing floats about 40 feet into the air and disappears with the wind. I finish breaking down the stroller while he cries…promising to find another balloon at the grocery store.

At this point the prospect of toting a crying three year old and a sleeping baby into the grocery store is too daunting. I called the daycare and they happily agreed to take Leighton for two hours while I ran errands/took Morgan to lunch.

We dropped our little bug off and hit the grocery store, then came home and unloaded…then back into the car for a fuel stop, trip to McDonald’s for a happy meal and still had half an hour to get Morgan a hair cut before picking up Leighton!

2pm: Morgan pees on the potty for the first time in 3 days. He opted out of changing himself after I told him that he would have to clean up any pee pee on his own. (thinking of the cavities, he gets a sticker.)

3pm: Morgan poops on the potty for the first time in WEEKS. Cavities be damned, that kid got 2 M&M’s




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4 responses to “Oh my Lord

  1. Well HEY, for the poop and pee on the potty!
    Oh, mama… I feel for you. And while I’m so sad you had this uber-frustrating day, I’m glad there’s someone else on this planet who’s had hellish days. Have some chocolate and/or wine. Tomorrow will be better…

  2. pursuit of poppy

    Ha, ha, ha! Oh, the world of having more than 1 child!!!

  3. Oh my!! Glad Morgan used the potty at home though. That is SO going to be Aiden. He sits on the potty to try at school all of the time but refuses at home. *sigh*

  4. my my, jen. what a handful you have there, my friend! i’ve certainly been there…just the other day, walking through the hospital (at my own personal work, surrounded by my co-workers), i ended up with both juneau and nova actually lying on the ground throwing epic fits. i ended up having to pick up both of their 30 pound behinds at one time and haul them screaming through the lobby of the hospital. all i could do was laugh. well, glad to hear morgan pooped on the potty. nova refuses. she usually poops in her pants, then brings over her baby sized wagon with a clean pull-up, desitin, and wips, and says “Change my diaper, mom, i pooped”. maybe one day i will get to stop wiping up poop. 🙂

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