Miralax and Mott’s Tots on the Rocks, please

Warning: Graphic Poop Story

It started as a hectic morning to begin with.  I had invited the girls over to the house for some coffee before the holiday crush made everyone too busy to get together.  I planned to wake up early and make baked oatmeal from this website.

The alarm went off at 6:30 and I promptly shut it off and rolled over. I have spent the week transitioning Leighton from her swing in our bedroom to her crib in her own room and mornings have been rough. She woke 3 times last night between 2:30 and 5:00am and it’s sort of hard to get out of bed when the two of us are  finally asleep.

The alarm went off again at 7am and by 7:30 I was running into the kitchen with a head full of curlers and a face full of make up but still in pajamas and toting two kids.

7:45–Made a waffle for Morgan and heard him say “I gotta poop.”

We raced into the bathroom as it had been SEVERAL days since he’d gone and I knew this was not going to be pretty. He cried and screamed–asking for dinosaurs and candy for motivation. I paced, going from the bathroom to the living room where Leighton was filling her own diaper and squalling for me to come clean it up. I got her changed and dressed while waiting for big brother to do his business.

8:15– Morgan was still writhing on the potty. He said he didn’t want candy OR a dinosaur and that he wasn’t going because it hurt. I had whipped together the oatmeal and was waiting for the oven to preheat. Meanwhile, I frantically yanked the curlers out of my hair only to twist the whole mess into a bun because of the rare humidity making me look like buckwheat from the little rascals and gotten dressed quickly in between trips to the bathroom to alternately soothe and plead for the kid to make the poop already. Poor man was in full on hysterics and actually got a nose bleed on the potty (Could have been the strain or the nose picking…not sure)

Preschool would be starting in 15 minutes and my guests would be arriving in 45 minutes. I still had to pull Morgan off of the potty, dress him, and load them both into the car. I made the call to end potty time and lifted him. I glanced to see if wiping was called for and realized that this kid was not going to school until he had been given a suppository. There was indeed a number 2 in progress and it wasn’t going anywhere on it’s own.

I picked up the phone and started dialing my friends. It appeared that all of them had fallen into a rabbit hole without a cell phone. I left messages at home and on cells…letting them know that I would be taking both kids to Walgreens for pedialax (the messages were particularly great with both children wailing in the background…I know that I sounded like a lunatic!)

Next came the joyous task of dressing Morgan who could barely stand at this point…but I couldn’t exactly leave a three year old at home while I popped over to the drug store! I called J on the way out the door to vent. He was in the operating room and likely perturbed by my ranting hysterically and two kids crying but I have to give him props for listening patiently and not yelling at me. He asked what I would like him to do and I smiled. Sometimes a mom has to walk this path alone.  As for Morgan, he was remarkably poised about making his way to the car and getting buckled in while terribly uncomfortable. Leighton held it together, seeming to sense that we were all in crisis mode and we made it to the drug store and home with everyone working in a fabulous spirit of team work. I wish that I had a picture of Morgan in line at the drug store holding his box of pedialax. Priceless.

8:50–blast into the house with Morgan on my heels toting a box of pedialax. Set the baby carrier in the hall outside his room and proceed to administer the bomb. Applied fresh pull up and waited. 5 minutes later I heard a scream that most women let out in child birth and I knew we had success. His diaper was poking out in the back and it was spectacular! Next, I changed him into some big boy undies when he called out that he needed to go again. Fervently, I prayed that he would not clog up the hall toilet again. He didn’t. He also earned some candy for making this poop in the potty.

9:00–it all happened so fast! My friends were late, so I hauled a screaming baby out of her carrier and sat down to nurse in a stupor. I called my mom for moral support as my hands were shaking and I badly wanted a few bottles of wine. She talked me down from the ledge and as 15 minutes passed I began laughing about all of the pressure that I had put on myself and the kids because of my friends coming over. Turns out no one showed up until 9:30 and I would have had plenty of time to take care of getting breakfast and coffee/tea ready for their arrival.

9:20–freshly baked tropical oatmeal with bananas, coconut, raw honey, and greek yogurt on top. Blackberries and blueberries in a pretty bowl.

My friends arrived and we all had a good laugh. No one cared that I hadn’t finished straightening up the house or that birds would want to nest in my hair. Morgan was happy to have a day off from school and Leighton was smiling.

Put another star on my mom badge…I am a survivor.

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1 Comment

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One response to “Miralax and Mott’s Tots on the Rocks, please

  1. Whew! I’m exhausted after reading that!!! Glad you all survived 🙂

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