Typical Mom Fashion
I am laughing while reading Laura’s post on New Year’s Resolutions–resolving to be more selfish and shallow! Her writing always cracks me up and this one hits home BIG TIME.
Becoming a mom is glorious. You get to devote your life to the sweetest little people in the world. You feed them, you bathe them, you dress them…and you usually don’t mind if there is a bit of spit up on your clothing.
Due to said spit up, it is a natural progression for your clothing to become less “Dry Clean Only” and more “Wash and Wear.” It is also natural that you discover that “Wash and Wear” reads “Less Stylish” and that even after you wash some things the tell tale traces of spit up leave their mark. In addition, getting up and leaving the house becomes a three ring circus and you may also find that dressing yourself is (very) low on the priority list. Preschool starts promptly at 8:30 and it entails a mad dash through the house dressing two often very unwilling munchkins. One could easily see how I end up with about 3 minutes to cover myself decently before wrangling kids into the car.
Friends, my children are adorable. They wear designer clothes and have matching accessories. Me? Not so much. The uniform has been nursing tank, jersey cardigan and either yoga pants or jeans with my Uggs that are begging for retirement. I find myself trotting into Marshall’s and buying my jersey cardigans in bulk….knowing that they will be stained and covered in gosh awful things….like the day that we had a playdate with some friends and I left the house thinking “I smell poo…” I kept looking. I found nothing. I drove…sniffed…looked some more. Finally, three hours later I was washing my hands in the rest room and catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Ahh…the jersey cardigan had been hiding a tiny poo smear on the front of my nursing tank. Nice.
My hair? I confess that I am not one to fix my hair, children or no. It’s long. It’s wild. It’s unmanageable at best. Before kids I at least made some efforts to straighten and subdue….the best that I achieve now is restraining the mass with a bun. In fairness, I will admit to extreme vanity that calls for coloring every 8-12 weeks depending on how many grey hairs my kids induce.
And as long as we are confessing to mommy style sins….there is the matter of my maternity jeans. I have a pair that is still in weekly rotation. They are designer, but that does not excuse the fact that I am still sporting a button tab adjustable waist. In private, I refer to them as my “cookie pants”. I can reign them in if it’s been a good week or let them out if I’d like to eat an entire large pizza. Those of you that breast feed understand the occasional need to do just that!
Here is my oath.
- I have 10-15 mommy pounds that WILL disappear this year.
- I will retire the cookie pants…er…maternity jeans
- I will attempt to put on an entire face full of make-up as long as I can do it after the preschool run. I would hate to disturb the right of passage that divides mothers of children 4 and up from mothers of children three and under. Showing up with a face full of make up and an infant at preschool is just throwing a gauntlet, yo.